Monday, February 27, 2012

Why I'm Never Cooking Anything Again

Or, Domesticity Will Kill You.

I tried to be domestic today. We had a bit of leftover baguette that was getting progressively harder by the minute, so I thought I'd make crostini out of it, to go with the hummus and cheese that we have. It didn't sound too hard.

Cut the bread thin, brush some butter on both sides so it doesn't stick, pop it in the oven for a few minutes.

I, however, did not have a way to finesse the butter step, and that was where things began to go terribly wrong. Since I had nothing with which to brush it on, I settled for dipping the pieces in the butter, and then putting them in the oven.

After about 15 minutes, a few of them were good, but most of them were still a bit too greasy. So I took them out of the oven, thinking that I would let them cool off a bit, then stick them in the toaster oven to dry them out the rest of the way.

But, it turns out, when you heat up butter again, it  becomes a liquid. Go figure. And it melts and drips into the all wrong places, and starts a grease fire, making the end result of your domestic attempt at crostini this:

A possibly ruined toaster oven full of baking soda.

Thank you, person that taught me about grease fires and baking soda. I owe you one.

By now, I have cleaned out the toaster oven, and I'm hoping that it will still work, but I'm too scared to turn it on and find out. I'll let the boy do that when he gets home, since it's his toaster oven anyway.

In the meantime, I'll work on something I can manage (sort of) like writing, and eat something that I don't have to cook- cheese and fruit, maybe with the few pieces of crostini that didn't go through the fire.

I will never be domestic.

No comments:

Post a Comment